The Listener 02/10/93

When I listen to the wind
The cold and icy wind
When I catch the frozen oak
In the corner of my eye
What springs to mind
Is not
The sound of sadness
Or the bite of bitter rage
Nor the desperation
Of a lover
Swaying, saying mantras
Repeat my name in senseless vain

When I listen to the wind
That cold and icy wind
When my cheeks are rough with cold
In the corner of the landscape
On a par with all the rest
What falls from my lips
Is not a stab
At warmth or joy
Nor a drowning plea for help
Spraying ice cubes from my throat
That won't melt in summer rain

Be it warm or icy cold
When I hear a whistling wind
I know it turns the vane
When the wind goes in my ear
As I sit here on this plain
Getting colder as I drain and slip away
Within the wind

If She Had Lived Another Life 01.29.93

If she had lived another life what would she have been?
I was going to say she'd been a queen
But on second thought, not
at all, not a queen, no royal pomp
Not a duchess not a princess no
matter how fair or sweet.
A music teacher then, or the wife of a great man?
An assembler on a line or a seamstress in a shop?
None of these are right.
None.
Could that mind exist in another time?
She'd have gone mad 100 years ago, go
figure it out for yourself once you
meet her can you treat her the same ol' way?
She's got a different kind about her, a
nest made up of ticks from clocks from
different ages, and various times of the day and
though she'll cringe to hear it though she'll
kick me once or twice but at one time
or another she was a courtesan a lover
Great minds start in the gutter and run from
who they were and this is what I'd have to
guess, I'd guess that this was her she
existed in a plane made up of spark and
lust and dirt and felt a crush upon her heart
each time someone touched her skirt but
there's that little bit that lingers even
though it makes her mad
and she believes in other lives
well that one made her sad
so she doesn't think upon it often
even though it's the most important one
If you're hiding from the moon
You won't ever see the sun

I Got A Letter Yesterday 12/?/92

I got a letter yesterday a letter from the dead
It wasn't short it wasn't long this is what it said
Someone called my name it seems out within the night
They didn't say it loud or soft they simply said it right
But then I'm a nameless wonder can't call me by my name
No matter how you change the rules I'll always play the game
I've stomped these grounds before you see this turf I made it mine
I took the river through my mind cleaned it til it shined
I fell off of a bridge that night fell in to rock and roll
And though I felt the mud and grime I fell into my soul
I surged up from the swamp I did a fecund warrior young
My bastard twin remained but had missed the ladder's rung
A box of secrets sat before me with a red-wax circle seal
Double locked with separate keys and so much to reveal
And you go, my friendly twin to unlock the starboard hold
And I remain the sinister the left is silver right is gold
Get away, get far away, grovel not to a past that's passed
High and mighty memory is a lizard not an asp
Girls names and locker numbers written on a notebook cover
Years go by yearbook signings hover former lovers
I'd sit starboard shotgun in the Newport boat we drove with love
Took one step into that hole just like a cult I was proud of
It'd seem sometimes somehow that amnesia might prevail
Til the day a man on crutches started dancing in the hail
And when the scarecrow caught my eye and chilled me to the bone
All the sacrifices of our peers were finally driven home
The town had cried and seen old women on fire for their sons
How come they survived? The ones who cried, rode in a car that weighed two tons?
These questions bounced off of the grass that was olive drab
(Come on let's go I've got to leave so I'll pick up the tab)
Tie a yellow ribbon round a very special tree
Don't fly in copters late at night 'coz legends never see
Those stars above your eyes that have taken such a shift
Look on the bright side of the tree and your mind will start to drift

Through the current through the pads to a place you know so well
To all your friends and your sins to people that you know
To where it is and what's inside a whistle not a bell
An earring marble penny pick a funeral to glow
A Karmann Ghia quote from stone a fighter's tomb and shell
A balloon a hollow nut all these things they move so slow
When skipping cross the screens that fill my head
And all this sealed with wax a brightly ribboned red

I got a letter yesterday a letter from the dead

Soap Opera Star 12/?/92

This wasn't what he'd worked for
Not at all
But he finally heard the echo
Got that call

Gleam In His Eye, Feather In His Cap 12/08/92

Gleam in his eye, feather in his cap
Crazier than a shit house rat
If he had the looks he had long ago
You probably wouldn't stare at him so
He's uglier now than he was then
But his power to disturb is right at ten

Hearing him talk it's like a monologue
Engine's missing a vital cog
53 cards short of a deck
If you're scratching your head you better watch your neck

The marbles he's lost will trip you up
Behind the plate better watch your cup
'Coz when he strikes he knows where its at
He's crazier than a shit house rat

Time Spent Holding My Breath 06/?/93

Someone says it's automatic
Others tell me they don't know
Somehow though my face gets red
My blood begins to show

7 years spent sleeping
60 years before my death
14 years spent eating
21 spent holding breath

I Recognize 06/13/93

I recognize
The light that shines in your eyes

I know
I've seen that light before
Blinking at me from
Across the shore
Across the shore

And there was something about a daisy
That somehow keeps me pushing on

And you know they say that it's the
journey we desire
And not the resting place

And when I say that contradiction's beautiful
I mean we're noble
We're sick

And I can see something that's so
Beautifully depraved and sometimes
That makes it somehow worth the trip

But looking out across the water
Staring at the light with all that
Space it makes me feel a bit wrong

Is there something I must aspire to
Outside of knowing that I'm strong

And there are some things in fairy tales
That have the power to make me
Feel afraid

And you're something like a daisy
And you're something like a stork
There's the space there's the sea

Mel & Jeff 06/10/99

Mel and Jeff were the best of friends
High school football teammates tight ends
Jeff would catch the ball and Mel would block
Mel was shy but had the bigger cock
Chasing girlies down was their only plan
When they'd both succeed they'd slap each other's hands
One day Mel had his fill
Of a freshman girl he called Jill
Though he knew very well her name was Jerry Anne
Jeff got word and he snapped
But it wasn't Jerry Anne he bitch slapped
It was Mel they found in the shower
Bloody and bare

Weeks went by without a single word
Jeff made All-State, Mel, had you heard?
Mel missed school to heal the broken cheek
That bone was stronger all the rest were weak
Jeff's dreams were filled with sweat and come
Mel's face stared at him from inside of a drum
Which Jeff would bash and pound
But he couldn't hear a single sound
Because his ears were filled with the edges of his brain

In real life they never hugged
They brushed the whole thing off with a shrug
They went to different colleges and
Never spoke again

Here They Water Their Dead 06.08.99

Here they water their dead
It's lush but just for bones
The grass is somehow faux
Imposed

Here they water their dead
Where showers use too much

Delusions of Grandeur (Spring '99 Amsterdam)

You married a barbarian queen
And the blood lust that led you
To conquer her throne
Is shifting to glory hound bays

You've forgotten your friends
For who needs friends as the king