You can't understand what's going on
You feel that all your hopes are gone
Well, I've been way down there too
And I'm telling you that it isn't true
You might change things - TRY you must
In your spirit I've put my trust
You can't take things as they're handed down
In beauracracy you're gonna drown
You'll get hurt if you turn the other cheek
It's the strong who inherit - not the meek
Don't let anyone rule your mind
If you do that you are running blind
Your life is not a TV set
Your life is not making a bet
If it is - your time is done
Then really blind you're gonna run
I'm not saying fuck school - go be a punk
I'm not telling you it's okay to get drunk
But do whatever makes you feel good
Don't do it because you SHOULD
To live we have to understand each other
But what fraction is the square root of another
They say do good in school
Or you might as well be dead
Then sit and wonder when one of us
Blows off his head
I'd like to hear your ideas
So long as they agree with mine
I'd like to hear how you're doing
So long as you smile and answer fine
I'm not saying fuck school - go be a punk
I'm not telling you it's okay to get drunk
But do whatever makes you feel good
Don't do it because you SHOULD
But I know who I am
I'm one step up on most everyone
Who thinks the kid with the best grades has won
Sometimes you have to slow down - take a look around
Watch the world go by - get your feet on the ground
Don't feel left behind - remember
It's all just in your mind
A mind they gave to you in school
A mind that makes you a fool
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Groveling 4.18.86
The world is moving at a very fast pace
Spittin' all over my face
If I could slow things down
I know that they would turn around
I'm looking at that girl over there
I hope that she don't see me stare
I wanna be ready when she comes
My heart is pounding like a hundred drums
Now her eyes turn towards me
I feel a shiver run through my knee
She's standing and walking over here
I think of you and I start to sneer
As I bury myself in her
I think of you and how things were
The world is moving at a very fast pace
Spittin' all over my face
If I could slow things down
I know that they would turn around
I thought that she would make me forget
Memories of you entrap me like a net
Thoughts of you never let me go
And this girl here won't let me know
My life is crumbling all around
It's crashing down but it don't make a sound
Get out of my way I'm barreling through
But I pull short when I get to you
Now I'm groveling in front of you
This position is nothing new
The world is moving at a very fast pace
Spittin' all over my face
If I could slow things down
I know that they would turn around
Spittin' all over my face
If I could slow things down
I know that they would turn around
I'm looking at that girl over there
I hope that she don't see me stare
I wanna be ready when she comes
My heart is pounding like a hundred drums
Now her eyes turn towards me
I feel a shiver run through my knee
She's standing and walking over here
I think of you and I start to sneer
As I bury myself in her
I think of you and how things were
The world is moving at a very fast pace
Spittin' all over my face
If I could slow things down
I know that they would turn around
I thought that she would make me forget
Memories of you entrap me like a net
Thoughts of you never let me go
And this girl here won't let me know
My life is crumbling all around
It's crashing down but it don't make a sound
Get out of my way I'm barreling through
But I pull short when I get to you
Now I'm groveling in front of you
This position is nothing new
The world is moving at a very fast pace
Spittin' all over my face
If I could slow things down
I know that they would turn around
Stompin' Grounds 4.16.86
I see the kids on the corner
In my old stompin grounds
But they aren't doin' the stompin'
They're bein' batted down
The pavement is on top of them
It's impossible to breathe
Now I have no idea 'bout you
But this really makes me seethe
With anger
With fear
With a hate for everything
I can't do nothin' anymore
With this anger that you bring
There's a kid in the sandbox
Gettin' mud thrown in his face
Things like that in society
They ain't got no place
He goes runnin' to his house
With a scratch on his arm
His drunk papa says to him
"It won't do no harm" but
With anger
With fear
With a hate for everything
I can't do nothin' anymore
With this anger that you bring
Now that boy is older
He's trying to survive
But with so many scratches on his arm
I don't know how he's alive
He must've done it with love
He must've done it with pride
That man has something there
That's good to have inside
He didn't do it with anger
He didn't do it with fear
He did it in a way that's tellin' me
A solution is near
But then I get up open my eyes
And go on with another day
I see that it was just a dream
And I travel on my way
With anger
With fear
With a hate for everything
I can't do nothin' anymore
With this anger that you bring
In my old stompin grounds
But they aren't doin' the stompin'
They're bein' batted down
The pavement is on top of them
It's impossible to breathe
Now I have no idea 'bout you
But this really makes me seethe
With anger
With fear
With a hate for everything
I can't do nothin' anymore
With this anger that you bring
There's a kid in the sandbox
Gettin' mud thrown in his face
Things like that in society
They ain't got no place
He goes runnin' to his house
With a scratch on his arm
His drunk papa says to him
"It won't do no harm" but
With anger
With fear
With a hate for everything
I can't do nothin' anymore
With this anger that you bring
Now that boy is older
He's trying to survive
But with so many scratches on his arm
I don't know how he's alive
He must've done it with love
He must've done it with pride
That man has something there
That's good to have inside
He didn't do it with anger
He didn't do it with fear
He did it in a way that's tellin' me
A solution is near
But then I get up open my eyes
And go on with another day
I see that it was just a dream
And I travel on my way
With anger
With fear
With a hate for everything
I can't do nothin' anymore
With this anger that you bring
The Big Adventure 4.14.86
Me and my friends in the cemetery
Gettin' oh so high
They say it ruins your whole life
Well I think that's a lie
I sat there and laughed and laughed and laughed
Like a crazy crazy man
My friends tried to keep me up on my feet
They do the best that they can
We were all having the greatest time
Til we tried to get out
Then we all fell off of the fence
And oh it made us shout
Next we walked up to the theater
In a state of bliss
But when we arrived at that place
Something was amiss
The movie wasn't funny
In fact it was scary as hell
But I was in such a damn good mood
Maybe it's just as well
The Big Adventure
It was the Big Adventure
We had the Big Adventure and now
We are a little tired
Gettin' oh so high
They say it ruins your whole life
Well I think that's a lie
I sat there and laughed and laughed and laughed
Like a crazy crazy man
My friends tried to keep me up on my feet
They do the best that they can
We were all having the greatest time
Til we tried to get out
Then we all fell off of the fence
And oh it made us shout
Next we walked up to the theater
In a state of bliss
But when we arrived at that place
Something was amiss
The movie wasn't funny
In fact it was scary as hell
But I was in such a damn good mood
Maybe it's just as well
The Big Adventure
It was the Big Adventure
We had the Big Adventure and now
We are a little tired
Without the Night 4.13.86
Last night it seemed everything was fine
The night was clear and it was mine
Today it seems everything is gone
You are the master I am the pawn
Just tell me what the problem is
I'll try to make it right
But don't leave me standing here again
Alone without the night
Last night we kissed under the sky
I hope that you're not wondering why
I just wanna talk to you once again
But the way you're acting I don't know if I can
Just tell me what the problem is
I'll try to make it right
But don't leave me standing here again
Alone without the night
I had thought our love was tight
But it seems to have vanished into the night
I think about you - the tears start to fall
The phone is there - why don't you call?
Just tell me what the problem is
I'll try to make it right
But don't leave me standing here again
Alone without the night
Just do not play games with me
Or I'll hurt you bad you will see
I'd rather have you play your games
Than to leave my heart in flames
Just tell me what the problem is
I'll try to make it right
But don't leave me standing here again
Alone without the night
The night was clear and it was mine
Today it seems everything is gone
You are the master I am the pawn
Just tell me what the problem is
I'll try to make it right
But don't leave me standing here again
Alone without the night
Last night we kissed under the sky
I hope that you're not wondering why
I just wanna talk to you once again
But the way you're acting I don't know if I can
Just tell me what the problem is
I'll try to make it right
But don't leave me standing here again
Alone without the night
I had thought our love was tight
But it seems to have vanished into the night
I think about you - the tears start to fall
The phone is there - why don't you call?
Just tell me what the problem is
I'll try to make it right
But don't leave me standing here again
Alone without the night
Just do not play games with me
Or I'll hurt you bad you will see
I'd rather have you play your games
Than to leave my heart in flames
Just tell me what the problem is
I'll try to make it right
But don't leave me standing here again
Alone without the night
The Nameless Wonder 4.11.86
I'm watching a man hug his son
I'm watching that man hand him a gun
I'm watching my friends curl up and die
I'm watching it all and wondering why
You can only change this world if you belong
But only outsiders can see what's going wrong
This is the Catch 22 of life
How can you love someone you treat like a wife?
This is the Catch 22 of the mind
If you forge ahead you're left behind
I'm looking at things for the very first time
I used to feel but now they tell me that's a crime
It seems like the earth is standing still
Leaving us open to the kill
You can only change this world if you belong
But only outsiders can see what's going wrong
This is the Catch 22 of life
How can you love someone you treat like a wife?
This is the Catch 22 of the mind
If you see things as they are you wish you were blind
I'm sittin' here listenin' to you
I'm sittin' here wondering what to do
I can't listen to you anymore
I've got to go out and even the score
You can only change this world if you belong
But only outsiders can see what's going wrong
This is the Catch 22 of life
How can you love someone you treat like a wife?
This is the Catch 22 of the mind
If you see things as they are you wish you were blind
I'm watching that man hand him a gun
I'm watching my friends curl up and die
I'm watching it all and wondering why
You can only change this world if you belong
But only outsiders can see what's going wrong
This is the Catch 22 of life
How can you love someone you treat like a wife?
This is the Catch 22 of the mind
If you forge ahead you're left behind
I'm looking at things for the very first time
I used to feel but now they tell me that's a crime
It seems like the earth is standing still
Leaving us open to the kill
You can only change this world if you belong
But only outsiders can see what's going wrong
This is the Catch 22 of life
How can you love someone you treat like a wife?
This is the Catch 22 of the mind
If you see things as they are you wish you were blind
I'm sittin' here listenin' to you
I'm sittin' here wondering what to do
I can't listen to you anymore
I've got to go out and even the score
You can only change this world if you belong
But only outsiders can see what's going wrong
This is the Catch 22 of life
How can you love someone you treat like a wife?
This is the Catch 22 of the mind
If you see things as they are you wish you were blind
Get Away 4.10.86
Get get get away from me go back to where you belong
Get get get away from me this is all so wrong
Your name is life you've got a knife
So don't come after me
No one thinks the way we do I wish that they would see
I'm afraid of getting close to you
Afraid of losing myself
It's just so hard to get involved I just can't handle you
Get get get away from me go back to where you belong
Get get get away from me this is all so wrong
I sit around and think about the things we've done
And the things that we thought to do
It seems that the latter outweighs the former - nothing ever comes through
I wish that I could just run away
Run away and hide
But I don't know if I can trust what I feel inside
What you feel won't get you money
They don't add up success with tears
Cries that you are happy fall on deaf ears
Get get get away from me go back to where you belong
Get get get away from me this is all so wrong
I just kept trying so hard
To be what they thought I should be
But it just doesn't matter anymore now I'm gonna try to be me
But it isn't easy - it can never be
After so fucking long
I've never ever met myself before
It's hard to sing this song
Get get get away from me go back to where you belong
Get get get away from me this is all so wrong
No it isn't easy
After so long
I'm used to being what they had in mind
It's hard to sing this song
Get get get away from me this is all so wrong
Your name is life you've got a knife
So don't come after me
No one thinks the way we do I wish that they would see
I'm afraid of getting close to you
Afraid of losing myself
It's just so hard to get involved I just can't handle you
Get get get away from me go back to where you belong
Get get get away from me this is all so wrong
I sit around and think about the things we've done
And the things that we thought to do
It seems that the latter outweighs the former - nothing ever comes through
I wish that I could just run away
Run away and hide
But I don't know if I can trust what I feel inside
What you feel won't get you money
They don't add up success with tears
Cries that you are happy fall on deaf ears
Get get get away from me go back to where you belong
Get get get away from me this is all so wrong
I just kept trying so hard
To be what they thought I should be
But it just doesn't matter anymore now I'm gonna try to be me
But it isn't easy - it can never be
After so fucking long
I've never ever met myself before
It's hard to sing this song
Get get get away from me go back to where you belong
Get get get away from me this is all so wrong
No it isn't easy
After so long
I'm used to being what they had in mind
It's hard to sing this song
This Blog
Have you ever been afraid that someone will find your diary and read it? That the unabashed revelation contained therein will be so embarrassing that you immediately curl up and die on the spot?
Me too. Which is why I'm revealing the existence of this blog. It is a preemptive strike, a revelation that will hopefully keep me from blushing too hard when these poems are actually perused.
In the beginning of 2009 I decided (perhaps foolishly!) that my next project would be to go back to every notebook of poetry I'd ever filled with scribblings and transfer them to a digital state.
Part of this was practical. I have so many of them, they sit around, they take up space. I wanted to feel as if they could be truly PUT AWAY. But I feared losing them, feared they would be damaged in a flood, feared I would spill coffee on them. So I slowly started the process of transferring 800 some-odd poems from old pen and paper to this newfangled notebook you are reading right now.
I would stuff three or four of the notebooks in my knapsack and bring them to work. Obviously my job is not filled with pressing tasks. I averaged between 30 and 40 poems a day while I was doing it. I worked at it from February of 2009 until late July. I've added a few new poems since then but in essence every poem I've ever written that I can find are here.
Some I'm proud of, some make me cringe. Some come from real events that I can pinpoint down to a facial expression, some I have NO IDEA WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT or who.
I wrote hundreds of poems before I actually wrote one that I thought was worth reading. You might get through the whole blog without agreeing with me. I started writing because I was a lead singer in a punk band called Fecund Youth in high school (hence the address of the blog). We needed lyrics and I just did it without thinking about it.
For the first few years everything rhymed. Then when I was in college and realized that poetry didn't mean it had to rhyme, I went through a phase of jotting anything that came to mind down, slapping a title on it and calling it a poem. Oh, man, some of these are priceless! I read one William Carlos Williams poem and I was off and running.
I began writing my own songs in earnest in the early 1990's and it was only then that I truly began to work at it. If I was going to get a bunch of guys together, learn the song and play it in public, the lyrics had damn well better be good.
So. Here it is. My poetic history. Enter at your own peril. Oh, man, some of the ones from the 80's are fun, though! Teenager extraordinaire...All my lyric.
Me too. Which is why I'm revealing the existence of this blog. It is a preemptive strike, a revelation that will hopefully keep me from blushing too hard when these poems are actually perused.
In the beginning of 2009 I decided (perhaps foolishly!) that my next project would be to go back to every notebook of poetry I'd ever filled with scribblings and transfer them to a digital state.
Part of this was practical. I have so many of them, they sit around, they take up space. I wanted to feel as if they could be truly PUT AWAY. But I feared losing them, feared they would be damaged in a flood, feared I would spill coffee on them. So I slowly started the process of transferring 800 some-odd poems from old pen and paper to this newfangled notebook you are reading right now.
I would stuff three or four of the notebooks in my knapsack and bring them to work. Obviously my job is not filled with pressing tasks. I averaged between 30 and 40 poems a day while I was doing it. I worked at it from February of 2009 until late July. I've added a few new poems since then but in essence every poem I've ever written that I can find are here.
Some I'm proud of, some make me cringe. Some come from real events that I can pinpoint down to a facial expression, some I have NO IDEA WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT or who.
I wrote hundreds of poems before I actually wrote one that I thought was worth reading. You might get through the whole blog without agreeing with me. I started writing because I was a lead singer in a punk band called Fecund Youth in high school (hence the address of the blog). We needed lyrics and I just did it without thinking about it.
For the first few years everything rhymed. Then when I was in college and realized that poetry didn't mean it had to rhyme, I went through a phase of jotting anything that came to mind down, slapping a title on it and calling it a poem. Oh, man, some of these are priceless! I read one William Carlos Williams poem and I was off and running.
I began writing my own songs in earnest in the early 1990's and it was only then that I truly began to work at it. If I was going to get a bunch of guys together, learn the song and play it in public, the lyrics had damn well better be good.
So. Here it is. My poetic history. Enter at your own peril. Oh, man, some of the ones from the 80's are fun, though! Teenager extraordinaire...All my lyric.
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