Crown of Doldrums 04/16/89

He had a five o'clock shadow - it was barely ten
He could figure what he did - just couldn't figure when
The one thing he was sure of - he'd never see her again
'Coz she was in his cellar lying dead

He couldn't remember exactly what it was that she had said
But it got him going real good - he had started seeing red
And the next thing he knew she had badly hit her head
And was sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs

He was gonna try to hide her but he knew they'd find the hairs
They'd have him in the tabloids as the man with Deadly Flair
Besides he felt real bad - didn't think it would be fair
If he got off scot-free and she was gone

He knew he couldn't convince them all that it was he who had been conned
That she had made him crazy with the Crown of Love she'd donned
And he couldn't bear the thought of the child he had spawned
He didn't care how he got out of this - just that he did

So he brought the speeding car of his life to a peaceful skid
And thought about that which he was now so thankfully rid
And the Crown of Doldrums that had so long adorned his id
Coz she was in his cellar lying dead