I Had Thought That I Would Try (early 1990's)

I had thought that I would try
to leave off from the physical awhile
And then I thought "You only live once"
And then I thought "You only live once"
And then I thought of how incredible it
it was is had been to be to have been
on this planet at this time
just when we might blow the fucker to smithereens
then I thought of a girl who liked The Smithereens
And thought that I would try
to leave off from the physical awhile
And then I thought "You only live once"
Might as well let the little bugger blow
It was impossible NOT to fuck a girl
At the thought of this dark space
expanding (to where exactly) and us
feverishly frantically figuring
about what the fuck it meant.
Perhaps (possible) probable
All those bombs big bad boy bombs
Are simply flares.
That we NEED to explode so someone
Can show us the edge of nothing
At this point she said
that I had called her another's name
(an insult so staggeringly small in view of
my inner monologue poem rave)
she did not understand the name I
had rechristened her with
Another girl's name? No
Another boy's name? No
In the middle of making love, damn
Ideas
In the middle of fucking, damn
Ideas
In the middle of copulation
I had called her...
I think I will try
to leave off from the physical awhile
My boat is lost and I think
I need the Coast Guard
Let me get a flare.
No, I ain't done yet.