In Some Ways 03/19/87

Several times I've asked myself
What my purpose is
I might not really need one
But I'd like to know what it is
I haven't found a calling
To call my very own
All that I can find
Are people leaving me alone
In some ways I'm impatient and I cannot wait
In other ways all I can do is harbor hate
I know I have to find something to grasp
A person or a quest onto which I can tightly clasp
Instead I flounder searching
Not searching hard enough
If I can't give myself up to you
Who can I give in to?
I feel I'm waiting for something
That will not ever come
Others give it up early
To hold onto someone
But I'm not able to do this
Even though I love you so
And though I can't be with you
I can't ever let you go
In some ways I care more than others
But I can only give advice
I can't practice what I preach
No indecision would be nice
In some ways I have gone beyond
In some ways made ripples in the pond
In many ways I'm holding myself back
Because in many ways I burn the beaten track
Sometimes I know I will have success
sometimes I know that I will be the best
But then ego stops talking
And I listen to my brain
And I know my heart will always fill with pain
But isn't that just the way it goes for everyone?
Drink over your pain to have a little fun
In some ways I've left my former world behind
In some ways my efforts will be undermined
But I'll try until the day that I die
I say that I'll change things but I know that's a lie
In some ways