Gleam in his eye, feather in his cap
Crazier than a shit house rat
If he had the looks he had long ago
You probably wouldn't stare at him so
He's uglier now than he was then
But his power to disturb is right at ten
Hearing him talk it's like a monologue
Engine's missing a vital cog
53 cards short of a deck
If you're scratching your head you better watch your neck
The marbles he's lost will trip you up
Behind the plate better watch your cup
'Coz when he strikes he knows where its at
He's crazier than a shit house rat
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