Prime Number 04/05/00

When I looked at
the big group pictures
I was always looking for me

Now I didn't even care where I was
I didn't even care where I am
I was always looking forward
to the next big thing
I was always looking for me

And I spent a lot of time blushing softly
In the dark where no one else could see
My neck was always hot with the shame
I knocked a lot of shit out of my eyes with my hands
I wiped my ass but hated to look
I kissed my arm sometimes when I needed it
I was always looking for me

I dreaded God but longed for the spirit
I laughed when I ought to have spat
My doubt was all I ever believed in
My home was something sinking into shallow mud
The CD's that I love were packed away in a box
The furniture was never where I thought it should be
If nothing bothered me I didn't say it
There was never enough salt in what I cooked
A picture hung all crooked for a long long time
I never finished up that long ass book
I was always looking for me

I was a prime number
My own blood could not divide me
I never was a sprinter
it's the miles that turn me on
I only had my own vocabulary
Momo gacko sdrawkcab kaeps
it's not a pipe dream it's my mind
I must have been a killer once before
There's just too much blood I can't explain away
I recognized the man who killed that boy
In the big group pictures, baby
My lucky number was 13
I was always looking for me

And then
there was you